Does True Love Exist?

10/11/2012 dreams , love , soul mate , true 2 Comments

There are people in this world who doesn’t believe true love exists. And then there's the question about soulmates. Do we have a soulmate somewhere in this huge world? If we do, what if we never find him or her? How sad would that be? But what if we have more than one?

In Beyond the Eyes, this is Paige’s reaction when she first sees Nathan:

Slowly my eyes opened to a pair of dark blue eyes that were full of concern. I blinked a couple times and saw relief cross his boyish face. His short brown hair had blond tips that stood on top of his head in ‘80s skater fashion, and he still had his jacket on. I wondered if he was cold. He was cute, and I couldn’t understand why he’d be concerned about me. A warm smile formed on his face, and for the first time in my life something fluttered inside my chest.

Paige soon questions her feelings towards him. How can she feel this way about somebody she hardly knows, yet he seems familiar to her? Then her best friend Carrie mentions that maybe he’s her soulmate. Paige scoffs at the idea, thinking to herself how lame it is to consider such a thing.

Soulmates.

Yeah, right.

When I started BTE, I questioned whether I should make Paige indifferent to Nathan’s character. The reason why was because I knew there would be people who wouldn’t go for the possibility that, yes, you could meet somebody that instantly rocked your world. And not just somebody. A person who you would feel a deep connection with and could be with forever. But as a writer, I knew I had to be true to myself. Yes, I’d have to be true to my readers. However, if I didn’t follow my heart, my story would suffer. So I trusted in my feelings and went with it.

Was it because I believed in true love?

Maybe.

Actually, yeah. True. Love. Does. Exist.


I recently told an author buddy of mine a story about Kevin and me. She suggested I write a post about it because it gave her hope. I might have written something similar to this in an older post, but I think it’s worth retelling for those who haven’t read it. So here’s my story.

I was living in Phoenix, Arizona and just got out of an abusive relationship. It was a dark time for me, and I was quickly spiraling downward. Feeling lost and alone, I cried myself to sleep. That night I had a dream about a guy. I saw his face. He was cute: dark hair, hazel eyes, round face, boyish looks. And then in my dream a voice told me I would meet this guy in Prescott. Of course, I didn’t believe it. A couple weeks later, I moved to Prescott, Arizona. I stayed with my mom and step-dad. My sister and niece were living there as well. One night my sister invited her boyfriend (Todd) and his roommate over. I was sitting at the kitchen table when Kevin walked in. I about fell out of my chair, and I couldn’t stop staring.

He was the guy in my dream!

No frickin’ way.

I couldn’t believe it.

Two weeks later we were dating. We dated for a month, and during that time I somehow knew we were going to break up. I also knew, though, we would get back together. I didn’t know how I knew, I just did.

One night, Kevin broke off our relationship on the grounds he was too old for me (he’s 9 years older than I). It was a bullshit excuse, but whatever. The real reason was because at the time he felt like he didn’t have anything to offer. He was in between jobs and had to get his life back in order. So he stayed away from me, but every day I thought about him. I couldn’t understand why I had that dream, felt the way I did, but we weren’t together.

It didn’t make sense.

I knew I had to move on, but couldn’t get the idea of us being together out of my mind.

I was driving myself crazy.

So one day I sat down and wrote how I felt about him. I folded the paper and stuck it in my dresser drawer. I thought if I purged my feelings, I’d be able to forget about him.

About us.

I went on with my life.

Three months later, my sister and I rented an apartment together. Three days later, Todd stopped by one evening to see my sister. Guess who was with him?

Yup. You guessed it.

Kevin.

I was sitting in front of the TV with just a long T-shirt on. Ya know, one of those T-shirt pjs. You can say I was surprised and embarrassed, but I handled it well. I chatted with him, but kept my distance, though my heart was pounding. The next day when I came home from work, my sister handed me a letter from Kevin.

I still have the letter, by the way.

It said he missed me and still had feelings for me. I wrote a note back to him saying if it was true what he said, then we needed to talk. I wasn’t about to jump back into a relationship with him–even though I wanted to–until we got some things straight. I gave him a specific time to come over. If he didn’t show up at that set time, then in my mind he wasn’t serious. I honestly didn’t think he would, but he did.

Right on time.

He later told me the night he came by my apartment, he told Todd he was going to marry me.

"Don’t you think that’s a little premature?" Todd asked him.

"I know it’s crazy," Kevin answered. "But I’m going to marry Becki."

Kevin told me he knew without a doubt we would get married. And the rest is history.

One of the best things I’d ever done was marry him. We’ve been together for 18 yrs. and we’re still the same with each other as we were when we dated (cuddly, mushy, crazy about each other).

I never knew you could keep falling in love with the same person, but you can.

It’s endless.

So you see. True love does exist.

Soulmates?

Well I don’t know about that. But Kevin and I do have a connection we can’t explain. There’s been too many uncanny circumstances that have happened between us to chalk it up as coincidence.

For all you single people out there. There is hope.

Don’t give up.

Just remember, above all things, you have to love and respect yourself. Your happiness shouldn’t be reliant on another person. Do what brings joy to you and never change who you are. The right person will come along and love you for you.