The Key To A Great Marriage (Hint: You Already Know It)

Kevin and I have been married for almost 25 years. šŸ„°

It seems crazy to us.

25 years!


I remember when he moved in with me I told myself to enjoy the “honeymoon” stage while I can because it wasn’t going to last.

I was wrong though because we knew what the key to a great marriage was and so do you.

Can you guess what it is?

I won’t hold you in suspense any longer.

Marry your BFF.


The way Kevin and I act towards each other to this day is the same as it was when he moved in with me in 1994.

But marrying your best friend forever is not a guarantee you’ll live in harmonious matrimony your entire life here. It does, however, give you a great advantage over those who marry for other reasons.

When you marry your bestie, you not only laugh and have a blast together, you can also be vulnerable and completely honest with each other.

Kevin and I have been through some dark times, but we got through them because of our friendship.

The key to a great marriage is marrying your best friend, but there is more to it than that.

Just because you hooked up with your BFF doesn’t mean you’re golden and you’re going to live happily ever after.

It’s not that simple.

All relationships take work.

A lot of work.

People tend to lose sight of the other key factors they need in order to have a healthy, loving, and solid relationship.

Here they are:

Being each other’s number one fan 

>>>> You support your partner’s goal(s).

>>>> You allow your partner to vent to you when he or she needs to.

>>>> You help your partner through problems.


>>>> You show appreciation for each other every day, even if it’s minor things like doing the dishes or making dinner.

                  “Thank you for making dinner. It was yummy.”

                  “I appreciate you doing the dishes.”

                 “You’re awesome!”

Be considerate

>>>> Call when you’re going to be late.

>>>> Leave a note telling the other person where you’re going.

>>>> Pick up after yourself.

>>>> Be quiet when your better half is trying to sleep.

TIP: If your mate upset you for some reason, talk about it. If you don’t, resent will start to breed within you and you’ll involuntarily find other things that’ll bug you about your partner. Eventually, it’ll manifest into your lives in an unhealthy manner that’ll test your commitment to one another.

Allow your other half to do his or her own thing . . .

. . . Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to be joined at the hip.

That’s not healthy.

See your relationship as a basecamp.

You two should go off and do your own thing at times, and then meet up at your basecamp.

It’s healthy to have different interests and to have some alone time away from your other half.

I’m not going to lie; I do enjoy my time alone.

Kevin and I share a lot of the same interests, but we have some that the other doesn’t care about. And that's okay.

He’s into playing guitar and flint knapping, whereas I’m into writing novels and paranormal stuff . . .

. . . But, 90% of our interests are the same.

I discovered through experience and research that it does help to be in a relationship with someone who shares the same interests in music, ideologies, and beliefs.

Best friends usually do. šŸ˜‰

Also, BFFs can be brutally honest with one another. 

Say you’ve reached a point where you find yourself losing interest in the relationship because it’s seriously lacking something, but yet you don’t want to end it. You know you can have a serious conversation about your problem without the fear of the other party getting angry or butt-hurt.

Besties do that.

Best friends also kick each other in the ass—figuratively speaking—when needed.

For example, say you thought you weren’t good enough to be treated with respect by a family member.

That family member always talked down to you and never acknowledged your accomplishments or supported your dreams.

So, you had anxiety every time you had to deal with that person, yet in a weird kind of way, you loved and wanted his or her approval.

Your bestie put the smackdown on you because he knew you were kicking your own ass.

You don’t need validation from anyone but yourself.

You don’t need to be treated like a lesser person.

You’re an accomplished person, and you don’t need to take crap from a narcissistic ass-monkey who only wants to talk about his or herself – even if it is a relative.

So, the key to a perfect marriage is to marry your best friend and as long as you keep being BFFs, you two will be able to work on the dynamics of your relationship a lot easier than those who don’t have the same advantage as you.

Cheers! šŸ„‚


Hello, 2020

I remember this time last year on Facebook I said that 2019 was going to explode with me and Kevin’s art, us collaborating on projects and transitioning from a conventional lifestyle to a nonconventional one.

So, did it happen?

Hell, yeah it did. šŸ˜

Here's what happened in 2019 . . .

I launched our Exploring Rabbit Holes website.

It's a hub showcasing our work, so everything is in one place for our readers and followers. šŸ˜Š 

In February I told Kevin I wanted to travel in a van instead of an RV. I was nervous to tell him because we had spent a lot of money on our RV and he had put in a lot of work into renovating it . . . 

. . . But I stated my case on why I thought traveling in a van would be far better than an RV.

We created a video about it and us getting the van if you want to check it out. Here’s the link to it.

We got the van (2003 Ford E-250) in March and then a friend of mine who is a professional welder made the high-roof for us so we could stand up inside the van. 

Using our creativity, we then converted the van (White Rabbit) into a camper that can go off-grid with solar power and a composting toilet. 

We were able to fit the composting toilet we bought for the RV into the van. 

It does take up a lot of room, but I’ll sacrifice room for more freedom.

Also, it doesn't smell. If anything it smells like dirt when you lift the lid.

The van was white. 

Was is the keyword here.

Kevin is an artist, so he’s using the van as his canvas to paint and draw whatever he wants. 

It’s cool and as we travel, when we run into other artists, we’ll let them paint on the van as well. Then each painting and drawing will have a story attached to it.

We put a picture of most of my book covers on the high-roof, to advertise them as we travel from place to place. We also have our Dare to Live logo on the side of the van and our Exploring Rabbit Holes website logo as well.

Kevin also created some paintings on canvas that we’re going to eventually have prints made and sell.

He’s been doing a lot of journaling and blog post writing as well.

I finished writing the second book to my Legends of Deceit series.

I wrote articles and blog posts throughout 2019, and I became a Gotham Ghostwriter! 

The nerd in me loves that name “Gotham” and loves saying it. šŸ˜‚

So, 2019 has definitely been a year where our creativity exploded.

It also has been a year of doing a lot of shadow work, growing internally, rewriting our lives (no pun intended), self-discovery, changing the way we eat, minimizing our lives, and learning.

We’ve learned a lot this year.

A lot.

We also put our house up for sale and currently, it’s pending sale.

If everything goes well, we’ll be full-time digital nomads before spring. šŸš

What a way to start 2020.

2019 was a great year.

Yeah, there were some tough times, but we got through them.

As I’m writing this, I can’t believe 2020 is banging at our door.

2020!!!! šŸ˜²

It’s here!

A brand-new decade! šŸ˜®

It’s fitting that Kevin and I are totally flipping our lives at the beginning of a new decade.

Actually, to be honest, we’ve been working on this for a little over 2 years, but it took us that long to get to where we are right now – mentally and physically.

We have a lot of plans for 2020.

Instead of calling it a resolution, I’m calling it intentions.

We intend to do a lot this year, so stay tuned! šŸ˜‰

Have a wonderful new year and be safe!

Cheers, my friends! šŸ„‚

I’m still alive

I know it’s been a long ass time since I posted on this blog.

I hope you're still with me. 

Just in case you were wondering, I’m alive and well . . .

. . . But if you read my last post on here and have been following me on my other social media platforms, you pretty much know what’s going on.

If not, lemme fill you in.

I started this year contemplating whether to delete this blog, but I decided not to because I started it when I was new to the publishing world.

Wandering Thought of a Writer is close to my heart.

I love it. šŸ˜

Yeah, WordPress is more of a professional platform to use and I did start one, but I’ll get to that in a few.

Maybe one day I’ll have a WordPress website for just my books, but as far as I know, it’s not going to be soon.

Besides I’m happy with this blog.

If people find it unprofessional and judge me, well then so be it. šŸ¤·‍♀️

At the end of last year, I designed a WordPress website for me and Kevin (hubby), and it went live in January.

The website is called Exploring Rabbit Holes. 

You can check it out here Ć

Please follow if you do.

There’s a lot of useful information on there that I write about.

Exploring Rabbit Holes is a hub for my books, our writing, Kevin’s artwork, my freelancing page, and our Dare to Live YouTube Channel.

We figured our subscribers and followers can go there and find everything in one spot.

It’s much more convenient for them.

I do not have a page for my books, only a tab that’ll take the reader straight to my Amazon Author Page.

For now, this blog is for my books. 

Kevin has a blog on our website called Down the Rabbit Hole.

He writes some deep ass shit.

It’s about ego, self-realization, and awakening.

When he writes, he’s writing to himself, so what he writes isn’t pointing fingers at the reader or bashing how they live.

He hasn’t made that clear yet, and I suspect some people will take offense to some of his writings.

But he writes some cool ass shit, and I’m not saying that because he’s my bestie and husband.

His content makes you think. šŸ¤”

If you’re a deep thinker, check it out.

Anyway, this year has been a life-changing year for us.

Hell, the last 2 ½ years have been huge.

If I remember, I’ll write a post about this year and share it with you in January, then you’ll know why I haven’t been active on this blog.

On The Book Front:

1.) Book #2 to Legends of Deceit is written.

It’s waiting for edits and going through the whole publishing process.

I don’t know when it’s going to get published, but I’ll letcha know when it does.

2.) I might have some upcoming publishing news to share with you.

If things work out the way I hope, I’ll post the news here.

3.) Another announcement I have is I’m going to be expanding on my Beyond the Eyes trilogy which will turn into a series. 

This will happen once my life gets back in order.

Currently, we’re waiting for our house to sell, working on growing our Dare to Live YouTube Channel, our brand, and me doing freelance work, among other things.

Once we sell the house, we’ll officially be digital nomads – traveling the US in our homemade camper van. 

We’ll be filming our journey and sharing it on our Dare to Live YouTube Channel.

So, I’ll probably be writing the next book in my Beyond the Eyes trilogy while on the road unless it takes a long ass time to sell our house, which I hope not.

4.) I wrote a short story for an author Christmas takeover event that has a little bit of horror in the tale. 

Honestly, I have a difficult time writing short stories and find it much easier to write a novel.

It’s weird, I know, but that’s just who I am.

I did manage to write one, and it’s supposed to go live on December 20, 2019. I also did an author interview.

I’ll post them here if you’re interested in reading them.

So, I’m alive and well.

I’m not going to lie, it’s nice to be back on here. šŸ˜Š

My passion is writing stories, publishing, and helping other writers with their books.

If you have any questions to ask me, feel free to do so. I’ll answer them as soon as I can.

Cheers! šŸ„‚


New Year, New Brand, And An Important Announcement

Happy 2019!

. . . Yeah, I’m six days late. šŸ˜‚

I’ve been crazy busy, hustling to get the new website I built live.

Can you believe I built a frickin’ website all by my non-techy-I-don’t-understand-this-shit self?

-So, this is proof that you can do anything if you put your mind to it.

Our new brand is Exploring Rabbit Holes. This website is the main hub for me and Kevin’s art, his self-discovery blog, my health and wellness one, my books, etc. Click on this link to check it out:

I have an informative article about CBD oil, and you can find out more about us on our About Us Page.

Exploring Rabbit Holes is a work in progress. I have more ideas for the site that I’ll get to as time permits. The same with our Etsy store (DARETOLIVESHOP). I built it as another creative outlet for us. We do have dare to live t-shirts to go with our YouTube Dare To Live brand, which promotes a life of self-discovery and inspiration. Our mission is to celebrate the human experience in a dynamic and courageous way through our art, music, and ideas. šŸ˜Š Click here to check it out:

Today we created a new YouTube video on the benefits of walking. We take you on one of the routes we walk and we talk about it. The filming is a bit bumpy because of the snow and ice on the road. We plan on getting a GoPro in the near future, which is an action camera you hook onto your car or helmet.

If you want to see where I currently live, click here to watch the video:

If you do watch it and like it, please click the thumbs up to like it. As you know, we’re newbies at this and in the learning stages.

. . . But, like I’ve said before, every pro was once a beginner.

Oh, my Facebook Author page got a face lift, and I combined my author brand with our Exploring Rabbit Holes one.


Because the two now are holding hands. šŸ˜

I’m an author and an explorer who is into health and wellness, self-discovery, and travel, which I will be writing about.

It makes perfect sense.

-So, now the important announcement.

. . . I’ve been struggling with a decision to make. The decision is should I shut down this blog and focus totally on Exploring Rabbit Holes or try and keep up with both?

To be honest, this blog (Wandering Thoughts of a Writer) has a special place in my heart because I created it years ago when I first wrote Beyond the Eyes.

I was going to shut it down, but today I came to the decision to keep it for my books, writing, and possibly to share with you videos we create.

What does this mean?

It means I won’t be posting every week to this blog.

If you want to hear from me every day or week, follow me on my Facebook Author page and on my Health and Wellness blog on our Exploring Rabbit Holes site.

Exploring Rabbit Holes Health and Wellness blog:

On the book front, I’m in the process of rereading/rewriting/editing Legends of Deceit book #2. After that it’ll be sent to my editor. I’ll keep you up to date on it here.

Lots of changes are already happening in this new year—exciting crazy scary and cool changes.

I hope you plan on still following me because I’d love to have you along for the ride with us. šŸ˜˜

Top Ten Things That Will Change Your Life

Today we created another Youtube video: Top Ten Things That Will Change Your Life.

We're still newbies at this, but with deliberate practice we're getting better and having fun. šŸ˜Š

We're also still learning how our fancy camera works, as well as camera angles, lighting, blah, blah, blah.

Kevin is doing an excellent job with the editing part.

 . . . Anyway, click on this link to find out what are the top ten things that will change your life.

If you like the video, please click the thumbs up and the subscribe button if you want to follow us on our journey towards living a nomadic lifestyle and our adventures once we officially are nomads. ☮️

Six Weird Gifts To Give The Weirdo In Your Life

I was thinking of a blog post to write today and came up with weird gifts. I mean, we all have a bit of weirdness in us, some more so than others.

Hey, life would be dull if we were all the same, and I’m curious to find out what strange gifts are out there, aren’t you?

Sure you are, so let’s get to them.

Oh, this post contains affiliate links which means I may earn a commission if you use them, at no additional cost to you.

1.) Crafting with Cat Hair

I’m a cat lover and most of my life I’ve had a cat, however, I’ve never thought of using Church’s (my current cat) hair to make something out of it. šŸ˜‚

I find it a bit odd.

2.) Farting Undies

Yes, there’s fart underwear you can buy. This would make a good gag gift to give to someone who farts a lot.

3.) Talking Toilet Paper Spindle

This product is a best seller on Amazon, and I think it would be a fun thing to get. You can record your own messages, so when someone is in the bathroom, grabbing a piece of toilet paper, he or she will hear your message.

How about a pimple popping toy?

4.) RAYKI Squeeze Acne Toys-Peach Pimple Popping Funny Toy Popper Remover Stop Picking Your Face

You read that right. There’s a toy for people who like to pop pimples.

One of my author friends would love this toy.

5.) Rubber Chicken Purse-The “Hen Bag” Handbag

I suppose this would make a good gag gift for someone who loves chickens, but I personally think it’s weird. šŸ˜‚

6.) Edible Insects-Bag of Mixed Edible Bugs: Grasshoppers, Crickets, Silk Worms and Sago Worms

I wasn’t going to post this because I don’t like bugs, and hell no to eating them. šŸ¤®

. . . But, there are people who do and love them. It’s a culture thing, and honestly, if we were raised on eating bugs, we probably wouldn’t think they were nasty to eat.

If you’re curious about what they taste like or have a friend who would want to try them, or want to freak someone out, Amazon sells them.

There you have it. I might write another post similar to this one in the future because I find it interesting what weird products are out there that people buy. I’m sure you do as well.

. . . Anyway, Happy Yule, Happy Christmas, Happy Holidays.

Have a good one!

Stepping Out Of My Comfort Zone

Kevin and I created a video today about what minimalism means to us.

As you know we’re total newbies, but hey, you gotta start somewhere, right?

I’m totally out of my comfort zone when it comes to pictures of me and now being in a video, especially close-up shots.


Honestly, it's because how I was treated during my childhood. I had a huge overbite and was teased a lot.

. . . But I’m working on overcoming my issues with my looks and what better way to do that than put myself out there on YouTube.

I’m stepping out of my comfort zone.

I have to say, though, Kevin is pushing me to just do it.

He said today, “Fuck it. Let’s just do it. I have two missing bottom teeth that I need to get fixed and will. So what? We’re newbies, and this is how we learn. One day we’ll look back on it and see how far we progressed from our earlier videos."

He’s totally right.

We’ll know what shots work and what doesn’t.

-So, we made a video today on what minimalism means to us, and I mentioned a totally weird thing we’ve been doing that is totally out of our comfort zone.

It’s live on our Dare To Live Youtube Channel. Here’s the link . . .

If you like it, please click the thumbs up and subscribe. Also, if you click on the bell, you’ll get notified every time a new video goes live.

. . . Anyway, as I said before, this is totally out of my comfort, but that’s good because growth and opportunity will breed from it. Also, life begins at the end of your comfort zone.

I’m daring to live. šŸ˜œ