Wandering Thoughts of a Writer: #bestfriend

Showing posts with label #bestfriend. Show all posts

Kevin and I have been married for almost 25 years. 🥰

It seems crazy to us.

25 years!

Wow!

I remember when he moved in with me I told myself to enjoy the “honeymoon” stage while I can because it wasn’t going to last.

I was wrong though because we knew what the key to a great marriage was and so do you.

Can you guess what it is?

I won’t hold you in suspense any longer.

Marry your BFF.

BAM!!!!

The way Kevin and I act towards each other to this day is the same as it was when he moved in with me in 1994.

But marrying your best friend forever is not a guarantee you’ll live in harmonious matrimony your entire life here. It does, however, give you a great advantage over those who marry for other reasons.

When you marry your bestie, you not only laugh and have a blast together, you can also be vulnerable and completely honest with each other.

Kevin and I have been through some dark times, but we got through them because of our friendship.

The key to a great marriage is marrying your best friend, but there is more to it than that.

Just because you hooked up with your BFF doesn’t mean you’re golden and you’re going to live happily ever after.

It’s not that simple.

All relationships take work.

A lot of work.

People tend to lose sight of the other key factors they need in order to have a healthy, loving, and solid relationship.

Here they are:

Being each other’s number one fan

>>>> You support your partner’s goal(s).

>>>> You allow your partner to vent to you when he or she needs to.

>>>> You help your partner through problems.

Appreciation

>>>> You show appreciation for each other every day, even if it’s minor things like doing the dishes or making dinner.

“Thank you for making dinner. It was yummy.”

“I appreciate you doing the dishes.”

“You’re awesome!”

Be considerate

>>>> Call when you’re going to be late.

>>>> Leave a note telling the other person where you’re going.

>>>> Pick up after yourself.

>>>> Be quiet when your better half is trying to sleep.

TIP: If your mate upset you for some reason, talk about it. If you don’t, resent will start to breed within you and you’ll involuntarily find other things that’ll bug you about your partner. Eventually, it’ll manifest into your lives in an unhealthy manner that’ll test your commitment to one another.

Allow your other half to do his or her own thing . . .

. . . Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to be joined at the hip.

That’s not healthy.

See your relationship as a basecamp.

You two should go off and do your own thing at times, and then meet up at your basecamp.

It’s healthy to have different interests and to have some alone time away from your other half.

I’m not going to lie; I do enjoy my time alone.

Kevin and I share a lot of the same interests, but we have some that the other doesn’t care about. And that's okay.

He’s into playing guitar and flint knapping, whereas I’m into writing novels and paranormal stuff . . .

. . . But, 90% of our interests are the same.

I discovered through experience and research that it does help to be in a relationship with someone who shares the same interests in music, ideologies, and beliefs.

Best friends usually do. 😉

Also, BFFs can be brutally honest with one another.

Say you’ve reached a point where you find yourself losing interest in the relationship because it’s seriously lacking something, but yet you don’t want to end it. You know you can have a serious conversation about your problem without the fear of the other party getting angry or butt-hurt.

Besties do that.

Best friends also kick each other in the ass—figuratively speaking—when needed.

For example, say you thought you weren’t good enough to be treated with respect by a family member.

That family member always talked down to you and never acknowledged your accomplishments or supported your dreams.

So, you had anxiety every time you had to deal with that person, yet in a weird kind of way, you loved and wanted his or her approval.

Your bestie put the smackdown on you because he knew you were kicking your own ass.

You don’t need validation from anyone but yourself.

You don’t need to be treated like a lesser person.

You’re an accomplished person, and you don’t need to take crap from a narcissistic ass-monkey who only wants to talk about his or herself – even if it is a relative.

So, the key to a perfect marriage is to marry your best friend and as long as you keep being BFFs, you two will be able to work on the dynamics of your relationship a lot easier than those who don’t have the same advantage as you.

Cheers! 🥂

#bestfriend, #relationship, #relationshipadvice #marriage #thekeytoagreatmarriage #lifestyle #inspirational, 0 Comments

Do you want to know what the secret is to a happy marriage/relationship?

I’ve been with Kevin for twenty-four years and will be married to him for twenty-three on July 25^th of this year. One of the best things I've ever done in my life was marry him. I’m not tooting my horn or anything, but we have the most awesome relationship ever. Yeah, he gets on my nerves sometimes and I get on his, but it’s no big deal.

Side note: I’m no expert; however, the following doesn’t only come from me but from relationship experts as well:

Anyway, here are the twenty tips to a happy marriage/relationship.

1.) The person you marry should be your best friend. Period.

2.) A sense of humor. You have to have a sense of humor in a relationship. If you can’t tease and play around with each other, it won’t work. Having fun with your spouse and joking around is important.

3.) Appreciation. You need to show or tell your significant other how much you appreciate her. Whenever Kevin does something like the dishes, for example, I thank him for it and tell him I appreciate it, and he does the same for me as well. We don't do it all of the time but enough to where the other party doesn't feel taken advantage of.

4.) Common courtesy. If you’re going to be late coming home or whatever, call (Kevin and I do this all the time). Common courtesy. If the gas tank is almost on empty, stop at a gas station and fill it up. Common courtesy. Guys, put the toilet seat down before you go to bed. The list goes on.

5.) Honesty. You must be honest with one another because resentment will eventually kill your relationship. It doesn’t go away. It festers.

6.) Don’t finger point. “Well, this happened because you did this. We wouldn’t be in this situation if you would have checked our bank account.” Instead, you need to talk it out. We all make mistakes. This one time Kevin bought a pick-up and asked the dealership guy to hold our check. Well, he didn’t, and our rent check bounced. I could have easily been pissed off at Kevin and rightfully so. I told him it might happen, and he assured me it wouldn’t. It did. Oh, well. Move on.

7.) If you plan on making a big purchase on something, talk it over with your spouse first. It’s her money, too.

8.) Teammates. You need to work together to accomplish what you want in life. Kevin and I do this all the time. When we were in credit card debt, we both said, enough is enough. We need to fix this and build our bank account. We cracked down and paid off all of our credit cards. It took a year, but we did it.

9.) Be supportive. You must support each other's goals in life. If it’s something outlandish and you feel is idiotic, don’t talk down to him. You’re best friends, so talk it over and voice your concerns. Come up with a comprise you both can agree upon.

10.) Never take each other for granted. Leave notes to one another from time to time. They can be simple such as, I miss and love you. Kevin and I do that, and it always puts a smile on my face.

11.) Sex. Yeah, sex isn’t everything in a relationship, but it is part of it.

12.) Thoughtfulness. Be thoughtful towards one another. The other day I was late for lunch. I came home, and Kevin was in the middle of making me a ham sandwich. It touched me that he thought of me, knowing I would have to make my own lunch, then go back to work. He saved me the trouble of making it. I really appreciated it and told him so. Another example is every Sunday my editor makes breakfast for his girlfriend. How sweet is that?

13.) Don’t try to change each other. But then again, if you married your best friend, you wouldn’t have to, right?

14.) Have date nights. Life gets hectic. Let’s face it. We live in a world where we're expected to constantly go, go, go. You need to carve out one night a week where you and your hubby can go out and have some fun together. Kevin and I go out to eat every Saturday night. It’s something to get excited about and look forward to.

15.) Respect. You must respect each other because if you don’t you’re in trouble.

16.) Trust. That’s a big one. Without trust, your relationship is doomed.

17.) Praise. You should praise each other. I’m always telling Kevin he rocks when he does something cool, and he does the same for me as well.

18.) Compliments. Tell your wife or girlfriend she’s beautiful or cute. If she makes a good meal, tell her how yummy it is.

19.) Affection. There are some peeps who aren’t affectionate, but I think everyone needs some affection. Hug and kiss your other half every day. Tell him you love him. Tell her you’ll miss her.

20.) Be open. I don’t care what anyone says, if you can’t talk about your poos or be open enough to fart in front of each other from time to time, there are some fun and comfort lacking in your relationship. You don't have to be rude or disgusting about it. But those things are part of being human, so why not joke and be silly about them? We all have gross bodily functions. Why hide it from the person you chose to spend the rest of your life with? Kevin and I joke and laugh about it all the time. In fact, Kevin will sometimes say as he's heading to the bathroom, "I think I got to make some Beckis." Hahaha. He's such a dork. But believe me, I get him back. :) See what I mean, though?

The couple in this picture has been married for 80 years. Yes, you read that right. 80 years! He’s 101 years old and she’s 97. They claim they’re still in love. Sweet, huh?