A Bundle of Thoughts

12/26/2011 risk , Thoughts , writing 1 Comments

Hey! Did everybody have a wonderful holiday? Mine was fine. It was just Kevin and I because our family is in Arizona and Ohio, but it was great to just hang out and not have to be anywhere or do anything.

During the weekend, I worked on chapter nine to my ‘Beyond the Eyes’ series. It seems to me this book is taking a lot longer to write than the other two. I’m discovering it’s a lot harder to write, which kind of frustrates me because I have this sense of urgency to get it done; however, I don’t want to half ass it. In fact, I won’t half ass it because it’s not in my nature to do so, and I love the characters and story. I am having fun writing it, even though it’s taking longer than I thought it would to write.

I was wondering the other day if it’s too presumptuous of me to write a series when I don’t even have an agent, and these were the thoughts that followed that one. . . .

Thought # 1.) You should have written a stand-alone novel because now you would have had two completely different novels finished, which would have given you a better chance at finding an agent to represent your work.

Thought # 2.) More than one person has told you to make this a series because they liked/loved the story and wanted more of it.

Thought # 3.) Every time I thought about making the first novel a stand-alone one, it didn’t feel right. I got this weird, sickening gut feeling, whenever I had contemplated that.

Thought # 4.) Listen to the gut feeling and trust in it.

Thought # 5.) What’s the worst that can happen?

(Mini thoughts spawning off of thought # 5)

A.) I don’t get an agent and publisher for this series.

B.) I self-publish them.

C.) I was completely wrong about the market for a book such as mine, and it didn’t sell as well as I thought.

D.) I wasted years on a 3-book series that went nowhere.

Um, I have to admit, C & D are thoughts that sometimes haunt me.

I hate those scary thoughts, but I’m comforted in the fact that most, if not all writers share in those same thoughts. And when those thoughts raise their ugly little heads, I read this to help me through it. . . .

Risk is the hinge on which productivity turns; if we aren’t in danger of failing, we aren’t growing. When we let fear, prevent us from taking steps that could bring our writing dreams closer, we limit our opportunities to succeed.

I’d read that somewhere on the internet, so I can’t take credit for it. However, it’s so true and helps me through those doubtful, dark times. Also, I think in all honesty, the years I’ve spent writing those books weren’t a waste of time. The reason why I think that is because the more I write, the better I become.

So, no, it wasn’t a waste of time.

It’s not a waste of time.

Not really.

And the thing is, I believe in this story and in myself.

Where is that going to take me?

I don’t know.

I don’t know if it’s the luck of the draw, if our life is already predestined, if we create everything in our life, or if it’s none of the above and something entirely different. All I know is, if I give up, then I should just lay down and die because I can’t stop writing stories, or not believing in my dreams, or not trying to better myself and life.

Seriously.

I mean, really. What’s the point in being here then?