2017 #battle , #conquer , #future , #marilynmonroe , #peace 2 Comments

Everyone has insecurities. I don’t care if you’re the queen of England or a famous movie star. Hell, Marilyn Monroe was uber-famous and considered the sexist woman alive. Even she had insecurities. She had a lot. Anyway, I have insecurities about my looks.

Why?

Because when I was growing up I had a huge overbite, was made fun of, got into fights over it and was told my older sister was prettier than me, but I was pretty on the—finger quotes—inside. I remember in seventh grade a friend of mine mentioned to me my sister was pretty, then she looked at me with disgust and asked, “What happened to you?” Decades later, those words that Heather (That’s her name. I even remember her last name.) said to me are still with me. They’re branded into my psyche for life. When I was fourteen I got braces and wore those suckers for almost five years. I endured a lot of pain but never once did I complain. The bargain I had with my mother was she’d get me braces if I promised never to complain about them. I promised, and I never once complained or whined. All the pain, hassle, and years of wearing them was worth it. Trust me. Thirty years later . . . I’m still struggling with the insecurities I have regarding how I look. It’s an ongoing battle I need to overcome.

Why overcome it? You’re almost middle-age?

Wait.

What?

What’s considered middle-age?

I’m not middle-age.

*Googles what age is considered middle-age*

45-65 is considered middle-age.

Hah! I’m still too young to be in that group.

So why should I even bother attempting to overcome my insecurity regarding my looks?

One of my main goals in this life is to conquer my insecurities before I die. Also, my future plans (I have a 2-year plan) will require me to be in front of a camera.

Yikes!

If everything works out, I have an exciting, adventurous future planned out for myself and my better half. So in order to conquer my insecurity about my looks, I figure baby steps.

I need to make peace with it.

I took a couple pictures of myself (I hardly ever post selfies) and posted them to Facebook. I received an amazing response that truly surprised me—lots of likes, love, and wonderful comments.

You guys, I need to put myself out there, regardless of how insecure I am about my looks.

Again, I need to make peace with it.

I’m tired of just existing.

I want to live.

This is the first step toward my future plans.

If you stick with me, eventually you'll find out what it is. In the meantime, I'll work on conquering this insecurity and finish writing the second book to my Legends of Deceit 2-book series.

Peace.