Wandering Thoughts of a Writer: fear

Showing posts with label fear. Show all posts

Tomorrow I’m going to be doing something for the first time in my entire life–a TV interview.

Yup, that’s right. I’m heading to Fargo tomorrow morning to be on a talk show where the host will be talking to me about my book BEYOND THE EYES.

Yikes!

Don’t get me wrong. I’m grateful for this opportunity to promote my book and series.

I am.

I just hope though, my mouth and brain will decide to play nice and work together because usually my mouth tends to be like an impatient, unruly child. It doesn’t wait for the brain to process the message. Instead, it blindly snatches words floating around in my mind that’s in the process of assimilating those words together to form a cohesive thought before reaching my lips. But my mouth doesn’t care about the *yawn* mechanics of the brain. It wants to do what it wants to do and doesn’t give a shit how I look when the words tumbling from my lips are completely wrong in context or meaning. Or, the message I’m trying to convey comes out backwards.

Kevin told me not to have any preconceived ideas on what the questions are going to be because if I do, I’ll formulate the answers in my mind before hand.

What’s wrong with that, right?

Well, his reason is if I do that, when the time comes to answer those questions, I’ll screw them up. But how can I not wonder what questions will be thrown at me?

I don’t know.

All I know is since I’ve released this book, I’ve faced a lot of my fears in order to promote it. I’ve done things I never thought I could do. So being on TV and talking about my book is another fear I’ll have to face. But at least it’s not live. I do take comfort in that. Maybe someday I’ll have to do a TV interview live, but not today.

Not today.

I honestly don’t have a problem facing my fears if it’s for something I really want, and I really want this series to do well.

So I’ve come to the conclusion I’m just going to be myself in this interview and ignore the cameras. If I say "dude" or "cool" a lot, so be it. I do hope though, besides sounding halfway intelligent, that I don’t go into a coughing fit. I still have that dang cough from the virus Kevin passed along to me. Last night when I was going to sleep, my chest was rattling big time and all my sick twisted mind could think about was "the death rattle."

Lovely.

But it’ll be okay. I know my story and my family history when it comes to dealing with the paranormal.

Anyway, it’s tomorrow Tuesday, August 28^th at 1:00 p.m. in Fargo. I have to admit, I am looking forward to meeting the guy who will be interviewing me and of course the producer who invited me on. They both seem like very nice people.

Wish me luck, and I’ll letcha know how it goes.

*waves bye*

book, fear, interview, TV, 2 Comments

My book signing went well. Here’s a picture of the outside of Sweets ‘N Stories, and a picture of my author table advertising my book signing. I forgot to get a picture of myself because I was too busy visiting with people. But truthfully, I hate getting my picture taken.

　
People whom I haven’t seen in years, came by to support me, which was wonderful.

The only thing I would have changed about the book signing experience would be to have asked the people who bought my book, if they wanted me to personalize it. A father bought a book for his daughter, and he told me her name. Sometimes I could be such a dope though, because all I wrote was her name, and then signed it.

So lame.

Why didn’t I write something personal or something else besides: To Gabby, Rebekkah Ford?

The only answer I have for not personalizing my book before signing it is because Anne Rice didn’t personalize her book for me when I went to her book signing, so I didn’t think about it when I was signing my book for people yesterday.

I do feel bad about it.

I mean, really bad.

Heart-crushing bad.

But I can’t dwell on it.

I need to move on.

It’s a learning experience, and now I know what to do when I’m in that situation again.

So I got through the book signing and faced that fear, but now I have another fear I need to face . . .

The fear of being on TV.

I was invited the other day to be on a TV talk show here in North Dakota. We will be filming for their new season on August 28^th.

YIKES!

I can do this.

I want to do it, and I appreciate that the producer is giving me the opportunity to be on his show, to help promote my book.

I had mailed him my book like three weeks ago, and I hadn’t heard from him. I thought maybe he wasn’t interested, but then last Thursday, he contacted me, and invited me on his show. I was surprised by the offer and immediately became nervous. I’m not an articulate speaker, and I tend to say words wrong because my mouth usually moves faster than my brain. But it’s not like I haven’t mentioned that before.

But you know what?

Screw it.

I’m just going to be myself, like I was on the podcast, which was another fear I had to step into and conquer. So I will do the same with being on TV. It’ll be the host and I. I will focus on him and not the cameras. If I say, "Dude or cool" so be it.

I am me.

I will step into the unknown, speak from my heart, and hopefully blow through it with no problems.

book signing, fear, nervous, TV, unknown, 3 Comments

This Saturday (July 28^th) I’ll be doing a book signing for the first time ever. It’s going to be here in my town at Sweets ‘N Stories.

Isn’t it cute inside?

This picture shows where you get your yummies at. On the other side is where the books are, and where I’ll be signing my books. If I think about it, I’ll take a picture on Saturday before I do the signing (the above picture is from Facebook).

The owner has a poster of my book cover on the door. It looks pretty cool, actually. You can see it when you’re driving down Main Street, and the owner also had fliers for my book signing made. Last night, when I went to Northside Treats & Eats (it’s like a Dairy Queen) to pick up some food, I saw my flier in there.

It looks awesome.

And then today, my boss told me she was at the library last night and saw my flier there too. J

Oh! And the library already bought one of my books and is waiting for me to sign it for them.

I ran into my ex-boss, a couple days ago. She told me she bought my book and really likes it. She also told me she shook the book in front of her coworker's face and said, “You got to read this.” So her coworker is reading it right now.

I used to work at the medical clinic here in town, and I guess my book is getting circulated among them, which rocks. I was pleasantly surprised when Judy (ex-boss and one of the best ever) had told me that.

Now I have to get through this book signing. It’s totally out of my comfort zone, but so was the podcast, and like I had said before, I’m willing to confront my fear(s) in order to spread the word around about my book.

I just hope people show up.

It would be totally embarrassing to sit there by myself and nobody stops in to buy my book.

I know it happens though.

I’ve heard a lot of stories about authors sitting at their book signing event for hours and nobody showing up.

I just hope I’m not one of them.